Some thoughts for the day

Some thoughts that brought me a little joy today

Some people are only alive because its illegal to kill them.

Consciousness:That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

No one is listening until you fart.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never, under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.