Just one of those days

Upon reaching 65, old Tom decided to retire. After having him under foot for a few months, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he go and do something to occupy him like join a club or get a hobby. Old Tom obliged and went out for a couple of hours. When he got home his wife asked about his day and he replied, "Oh, I just went down to the corner bar and hung out with the guys. Oh yeah, I joined a parachute club."
"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to start parachuting?"
"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."
"Old man, you need glasses! This is a membership in a PROSTITUTE CLUB!"

"OH, GREAT! NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I SIGNED UP FOR 5 JUMPS A WEEK!!"